I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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