filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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