Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
