It's Friday. Sex?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
