Its about making memories worth repressing
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
