The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
