I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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