You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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