i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think i got beer on your cat.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
