We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
