I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
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he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
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No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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