She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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