If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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