hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
