I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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