Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
