I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
