okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
