I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Randomize
