look no pants
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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