I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
