Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
