love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
