One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
