OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You dont lie about slip and slides
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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