You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
