So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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