Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
