Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
