I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
