Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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