He asked me if I "almost moaned"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
