Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
