and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
