go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
