Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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