In the future we'll all be gay
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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