it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
