I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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