My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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