Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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