Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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