and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
