i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
