Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
