I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
