I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
