You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize