i would punch a child for taco bell
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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