I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
A bitchslap is in order.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
