you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
