i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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