First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
