We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
