Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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