11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
