You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
