I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
