i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
