he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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