He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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