I'm lost and stupid without you.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
