Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
