perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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