i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
